U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize