This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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