The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
