Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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