my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
