3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
