am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
