i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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