You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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