Jerry, you need to find god
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize