yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
