He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize