I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Houston, we have a blender
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
