I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
