I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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