It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize