My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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