i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
