so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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