Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
