ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
