she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
