I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Barsexuality is the new black.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
