U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
