I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
