The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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