Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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