btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Just pee around me
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize