How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
home. puking in laundry basket.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
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