Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
