I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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