oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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