Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
