It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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