i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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