So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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