You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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