HIV tests are more positive than that guy
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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