So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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