I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Randomize
