I wannas sexs uuuuu
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
