remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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