Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
