Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Randomize
