every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
There are leaves in my underwear?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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