Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
we're so committed to being not committed
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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