I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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