i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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