why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
