i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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