i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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