i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Randomize
