Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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