i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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