it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize