What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
