And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Randomize
